Although I might not have been single for a long time, I'll never forget how exciting it is to talk to someone new that can potentially lead to love.
I have a bunch of amazing single ladies in my life and recently had a conversation with a few about what to talk about to someone you just started dating.
I feel like completely getting to know someone and vice versa was a way for me to find out if this relationship could go somewhere or if it was a dead end. I wanted to see if I would like most of his qualities, and possibly love him despite certain qualities. I don't hold back either. I want to make sure that he sees all of me and won't go running 5 years later when he just learns something. So I approach relationships as an open book.
Here are a few things I like to ask:
- Am I attracted to them? What attracts me?
- Is there anything I don't know about them?
- Am I happy talking to them? Am I happy while spending time with them?
- Do I feel lucky being with them? Do they feel lucky being with me?
- What are their values?
- What are the hard yes and no's? Must haves? Can't live without?
- See themselves 50 years? 10 years? Next week?
- Can I commit to this person for the rest of my life?
- Am I embarrassed to introduce them to my friends and family?
- Do they make me want to be a better person?
- Do they challenge me?
- Do they make me want to live and thrive?
- Do they make me feel like everything and anything is possible if we're together? That everything is going to be okay? Ups and downs? With them by my side, I'll be okay? Normally, I'm an overconfident woman that knows she doesn't need anyone but herself to get through life. I know this about myself, but I also know that I feel utterly happy and relieved to have someone to share the excitement and the burden of this journey we call life.
I strongly believe in not making your answers and remarks become what you think the other person wants to hear. Be 100% yourself and ask the same from the other person. I believe that life is too short to pretend to be something you're not. You don't want to have to pretend you're something you're not for the rest of your life if you decide to be with the person forever. You'll be so much happier to be with someone that loves you completely for who you are; including all the quirks, mannerisms, oddities, and more.
For example, I'm far from perfect and far from being as intellectual as I would like. (Kind of crazy I started this blog but I know I'm growing and learning and I feel like writing can help that process.) I might be tempted to pretend I know what politician is running, or what artist this song is, or what those yoga terms mean. But if I'm true to myself, then I'll be honest that I don't know which congressman is running, or who that dj is or that I don't know any yoga.
But I found love despite my lacking qualities. As I like him because of his wonderful qualities, and love him despite is lesser qualities.
Like because.... Love despite....
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